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A report from the Vancouver set of Edison, in which Justin Timberlake will make his "serious" acting debut, confirms what's been keeping us up for weeks, softly sobbing to "Cry Me A River" as we toss and turn in a cold sweat: Justin can't act a lick, despite what the PR flacks want you to believe. Says our spy, "The boy can sing, but damn, he sure can't act. Everyone has been making fun of him. He needs to stick to what made him famous." Good idea. But without a time machine or some very suspect surgery, how do we get him to devirginize Britney Spears again?

Note to Cameron Diaz: Talent deficiencies notwithstanding, Justin's making a good impression on the set. "Nice guy. Super nice guy, but a bit of a slut."