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Wow, it's as if our very mention of "Crest Whitestrips" has conjured this out of thin air: the official Crest Whitestrips Style Award nominees have been announced. When we noted the epic press release over a month ago, our inner pessimist never dared to dream that this ambitious vision might one day be realized, or that Sharon Stone would actually go through with her hosting responsibilities.

Our pick for Best Makeup Artist: Scott Barnes, who applied J-Lo's warpaint for the Golden Globes. He must have worked magic, because we can barely remember how her ass swallowed Charlize Theron. [Ed.note—Be forewarned: J.Lo ass jokes are officially in play.]