This image was lost some time after publication.

Welcome to a special, single-sighting edition of Hollywood PrivacyWatch, which has necessitated this Defamer Reader Advisory: Stay out of Glendale unless you're prepared to have your Sunset Strip'd ass rocked right back to 1984!

So, I'm at the Glendale Galleria. Just took the escalator down from The Zone (Food court/ entertainmentplex, if you're not familiar) and I've got my sights on Lens Crafters to pick up a pair of repaired spectacles. Lucky I had my backup pair on or else I wouldn't have spied out of the corner of my eye one MICHAEL ANTHONY!

No, not MARC ANTHONY or even MARC ANTONY, this was MARK ANTHONY, legendary bassist for the now reunited (Sammy not Dave) and currently on tour VAN HALEN! He had some middle-aged, suburban blondie on his arm, a pink Izod, and a hoop earring. The only thing that was missing was that JACK DANIELS bass! That guy used to be my hero . . . okay maybe not my hero, but when I was 13, he ranked #4 on the list of VAN HALEN members I would want to meet. And let me tell you something, that guy is the master of the receding hairline/short mullet combo. It's even more powerful in real life. Man, that was one satisfying sighting. The kind that makes you want to forget all about your stylish Ferragamo frames and just head to SAM GOODY instead to see if you can't find 5150 in the bargain bin for $3.99. I betcha he's on a speedboat right now drinking a tallboy and talking about how one of these days he really is gonna put a solo album out and how Eddie and Alex can just kiss his ass. Besides, he never though DLR was that much of an asshole anyway.