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Blogger Occupation: Girl takes the overlong epic Troy and boils it down to just fifteen sweet minutes. The best part? Achilles has most of his dialogue cut.

Hut of Wanton Nudity, Some Village

BOY: OMG Achilles you're late you gotta get up Achilles OMG!

ACHILLES: Dude, I just nailed twins. Call me in the morning.

BOY: It IS morning.

ACHILLES: Oh... fuck.