Manhattan Epidemic: Holiday Halitosis
Jonathan Ames hits seven Christmas parties in eight days (lightweight!), and gives the full report, sort of:
I was assaulted with so much bad breath that I feel I've gone through four years' worth of dental school and I'm ready to hang a shingle. I imagine that must be one of the first things dentists have to be trained for and screened for — ability to withstand halitosis. There's probably some kind of machine they put young dentists in front of which blows bad-breath fragrances into their faces until they're immune, kind of like what they did to that fellow in Clockwork Orange, but in reverse.
