Attention Spoiler Queens
If you're trying avoid all the year-end movie wrap-ups because you don't want the endings ruined, Anil Dash has some bad news for you: you're a spoiler queen, and furthermore, you actually already know how the movie ends. His memo to you:
Is this an American film in broad release? Does it feature (1) actors whom you have heard of, (2) explosions, (3) breasts, (4) cars, or (5) music? Then, I hate to break it to you, but THE GOOD GUYS WIN. There, I fucking said it. THE GOOD GUYS WIN. That stupid Honey movie with the hot chick who shouldn't be dancing hip hop but somehow is and has to win the contest in order to save the orphanage or whatever? I have not seen this film, indeed I'm fairly sure I have the details wrong, but I can tell you this: She saves the goddamn orphans. Sure, her parents are against the fact that she's parading her body around like a filthy whore, and the town doesn't think she can scrape together the talent and focus to put on a show that's good enough to raise the money, but hey whadaya know. The good guys win.