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More analysis of David Gest's scary fucking signature. (I know, we're one step away from astrological charting here, and yes, I'm totally obsessed. But if there's one person in the world that needs explanation by any tool necessary, it's David Gest, right?) From our in-house analyst:

Remember that the signature has to do with the public persona, so this isn't necessarily a glimpse of the 'real' David Gest (Thank God?)

* The bar that crosses his "t" is hooked. This shows a lot of perseverance and ambition, but often times it's manifested as compulsiveness and extreme perfectionism.

* A little more on the way he dots his 'i's: his round dot points to sexual immaturity and insecurity with one's masculinity.

* His capital "D" is looped on the bottom but not on the top, showing someone who is overly controlled and private in terms of what they say and how they act in public.

It's strange, because although his signature depicts him as an outrageous, anything-but-grounded individual, it is also very controlled and rigid, as if his strangeness was really a tool to prevent anyone from getting too close or digging too deep.