· The always family-focussed MATT DRUDGE!!!!! exploits the Simon Cowell story; apparently, the American Idol judge did some gesturing with his middle finger last night. CRUCIFY HIM! Remember when we were all exposed to JANET'S HOOTERS? A million children went blind that fateful night! We must be protected from this obscenity!
· While Whitney is just out of rehab, we hear a rumor that "Rich Girl" Ally Hilfiger has just checked in to Silver Hill Hospital in Connecticut. Very tasteful place — reportedly, Nick Nolte, Diana Ross, Mariah Carey, and Bill Joel are graduates.
· Video of Dennis Miller going off on Eric Alterman. (Caution: giant stretches of dullness.) [via Boing Boing]
· Please welcome Yoanna, America's next top supermodel overlord.
· How to write love letters to Sam Waksal.
· Lloyd Grove issues brutal take-down of Rex Reed. "Man, Grove doesn't care whose toes he steps on," says Cinetrix.
· Over-share of the day: Enrique Iglesias confesses to having world's smallest penis. [via HBD]