· Nobody wants them, but now they have their revenge: ironman Amanda Hesser sits in the NYT restaurant critic slot for now, but the number of candidates who don't want the job continues to grow. [NYP]
· Bijou Phillips eats floor at art gallery opening and flees in tears, to find her driver MIA. [NYP]
· Celebrity-burglar (that's burglar of celebrities, not celebrity who burgles) Blane Nordahl busted after run of dozens of home invasions, including Bruce Springsteen's and Ivana Trump's. No telling if he scored Ivana's original face. [NYP]
· Only room for Jean_Georges in the kitchen: Spice Market reps are unhappy with reviews mentioning the pre-opening involvement of Gray Kunz, former chef of Lespinasse. [NYDN]
· Tom Scott, juice mogul, wants to launch a local Hamptons TV channel in May. Exciting live TV coverage of such events as the installation of a dumpster at Red Horse Plaza! [NY mag]
· The most annoying man in the world, the recently retired host of "Inside the Actor's Studio," has "26 offers to do a book," he claims. Anything that keeps him off TV is good with us. [NYP]