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In today's poor-man s Gawker Stalker: Parker Posey, Will Smith and Jada, Rob Corddry, Jordana Brewster et al, Rosario Dawson, Steve from Sex in the City, Natalie Portman, Ashton and Demi, Hugh Jackman, Regis Philbin, Q-Tip, and little Dakota Fanning.

· A Stalkette with far too much time on her hands exposes a decidedly un-indie Parker Posey: I was in the East 9th and 2nd Ave Starbucks around 1:30pm last Tuesday when Parker Posey comes in... [continued...]

She was dressed like a typical starlet (which is not at all what I would expect) in a sort of "Jenny from the Block" get-up: cargo pants tucked into boots with a bomber jacket. Her hair was all highlighted and messy on purpose. She was acting very squirrelly from the get go and had a small poodle in her purse that was just as nervous as she was. She seemed to be looking around to see if anyone noticed her. The guy behind the counter saw her and immediately asked, "Would you like me to bring your drink outside for you?" She mumbled some type of acknowledgment and went back out, though I don t actually know where since there isn't any seating outside. This definitely seemed like a regular routine for her. After he brought the drink out she came back inside to put milk in it. After she left one of his coworkers asked him what her deal was and he said, "Oh, she doesn't like to be seen here," and shrugged. OK, I know this is already really long, but I just have to comment. Does she really expect to get mobbed for autographs at an East Village Starbucks? It's not like she s Julia Roberts in Times Square maybe then I could understand needing a personal coffee valet. There are only like 10 people at Starbucks that early, anyways, and I don t think they are autograph hounds. Then I got to thinking: maybe she doesn't want to be seen in Starbucks because it would ruin her hipster cred or something? [Ed. Bingo!] The getup she had on, along with the lapdog, already took care of that.
· I just saw Will Smith and his teeny-tiny wife, Jada, working out at the NY Sports Club on 10th St. and 7th Avenue. He is tall, goofy looking, skinny and very loud. I wouldn't have noticed him if he hadn t been laughing so loud (louder than the blaring music). He was dressed all in white and Jada was wearing a brown Juicy Couture sweat suit (does anyone actually work out in those?). She doesn't need to work out; she has the body of a nine-year old skinny and really small, barely 5 feet tall. They had two personal trainer/body guard types hovering in case anyone thought to talk to them. No one did.
· I saw Rob Corddry from The Daily Show, walking with a female friend in Cobble Hill at Clinton & Kane Streets on Saturday. I did a double take to confirm it was him it was. It looked like he cut his hair even shorter than normal.
· Saw the Brewster family (Jordana, Isabella and parents) walking up 3rd Avenue at 86th. That is one attractive family, but Jordana definitely takes the cake
· At around 1PM on Easter Sunday, Rosario Dawson was having a heated conversation with two male companions (father and brother?) over a late breakfast at Odessa. Wearing her signature chunky glasses, she was the epitome of East Village style: worn cowboy boots, fitted tweed jacket, and a small hand-stitched purse with the words "penis envy."
· I saw David Eigenberg of "Steve from Sex and the City" fame slummin' it on the E train with me this morning as I rode to work. He's rather small, very scruffy, and was not wearing the cute Steve glasses that he wore on the show.
· I saw Natalie Portman on Thursday night at Pastis. She was at a table with a big group of friends, mostly female. She was really pretty, dressed in black with cropped curly hair, although she looked about 17. Later that night she turned up at Hiro on 17th Street. Maybe she was stalking me...
· I was at this happy hour party with a crowd of model-types and their hanger-ons last Thursday at The Flat on 1st and 1st. While minding my own business, getting drunk and checking out the models and wanna-bes, in walk Ashton, Demi and their entourage. She's shorter than I expected, was dressed in all black, and had some dumb scarf tied around her head. He, on the other hand, is very tall and handsome. No one really bothered them, and they walked around like they wouldn t have minded if people did. When Demi got up to go to the bathroom she even stood in line like everyone else. They stayed for at least an hour and then hopped back in their black SUV.
· I spotted Hugh Jackman at Chelsea Flower Market today with a middle-aged blonde lady and a small child in tow. At first glance, I thought he was just another immaculately groomed Chelsea boy, wearing a fitted sweater. But the woman he was with kept calling over to him in a thick Ozzie accent: "Hugh!" Uncertain whether the woman was the mother of his child, decorator, or sister.
· On Good Friday, just a stone's throw from Union Square park on E. 17th, a bike messenger stopped in his tracks to pump his fist in the air and chant (with a mighty bass rumble that got the attention of every single bastard lucky enough to get the day off): "RE-GIS! RE-GIS! RE-GIS!" Sure enough, Regis Philbin, in a predictably dapper grey suit, got into the back seat of a black town car, but not before giving a courtesy smile and wave that just screamed, "Thanks a lot, you prick!"
· On Thursday night, around 10:30pm, I spotted Q-Tip from the late, great A Tribe Called Quest walking north on Sullivan Street toward Houston. He was with three or four dudes, talking loudly, wearing a pretty flamboyant (kind of Andre 3000-esque) ensemble: bright red polyester zip-up with a tie underneath, and some crazy accessory on his head that couldn't decide if it was a fedora, fisherman's hat, newsboy cap, or some fucked-up version of all three at once, if you can imagine such a monstrosity.
· I saw the adorable Dakota Fanning on 88th street and Central Park West last week, where they apparently filmed her upcoming movie. She was walking with a few other people to the set, and one of them said, "Get back in the trailer," to which she replied, "Mom, I can't!" a few times. She was quite adorable.