We're going to have to violate our sports-free zone here, as this weekend marks the first Yankees v. Red Sox game of the season. (Vegas has the money on the Yankees, FYI.) A Yankees fan imagines the season to come:

April 25: Darryl Strawberry discovers Kabbala, returns to team as spiritual advisor. "Centered" Yanks take 1 game lead.

May 21: Sox GM Theo Epstein grounded after senior prom drinking incident. Yanks by 3.

June 14: Red Sox take ill during "Gigli"/"Jersey Girl" in-flight double feature on West Coast road trip. Yanks up 4.

The Season Ahead: Two Views [Yanksfan vs. Soxfan]