Eurotrash takes on the what-men-want-in-bed pages from the latest Cosmo. It's not pretty:

"Use your scrunchie as a ring around my member."
This is New York. We don't wear scrunchies.

"In a cab, climb onto my lap (facing me), then stick your left leg over my shoulder and your right leg out the window. It's a little awkward, but it feels so good, we won't care."
Will we care a little bit more when we get arrested?

From the horse's mouth [Eurotrash]