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Halle Berry admits to Teen Hollywood that the protein shakes she chugged to stay fit for Catwoman gave her a killer case of the um, how do we put this delicately? The farts. Some say that after you win an Oscar, your shit no longer stinks. Obviously, those morons have never sat through an ill-advised superhero movie. Berry's catsuit-rattling bumquakes are the best-smelling thing about the Catwoman buzz.

Yes, dear readers and citizens of the world, we are now covering celebrity bodily functions. Should you encounter Nicole Kidman and think that she both "smelt it" and "dealt it," you know where to take that story.