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An operative files this brief report from last night's Spider-Man 2 premiere at the Mann Village and Bruin theaters in Westwood. Disturbing: Was Val Kilmer trying to get into Aunt May's pants? Where is Uncle Ben's ghost when you need him?

Here's the lowdown on the Spidey premiere, from my very limited vantage point at the buffet table:

Sony pulled out all the stops on this one. Enormous 80's style, double Westwood theater premiere. A block of screaming fans to be waded through if you were not limo delivered.

The movie started 50 minutes late, which caused much grumbling and many extra trips to the bathroom for the armies of children present. The movie delivered, pretty much the same as the first one but better SFX. The post-party took over the entire Santa Monica pier, rides and arcades included. The carnival part featured the biggest explosion of swag in entertainment history, with people winning Spidey dolls, t-shirts and towels for tossing a ring over the bottle, no charge to try. Party throwers were handing out trash bags for people to haul off their loot.

Best celeb sighting- at the party Val Kilmer sitting with the old lady who played Aunt May.


[Ed.note—All erroneous "Aunt Polly" references were changed to "Aunt May." Our fact checkers have been flayed.]