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—Britney's new puppy describes the scene as mom mows down a paparazzi with her SUV: I wanna play. What was that? No, really, I heard something. I can’t see a goddamn thing. I’ll whine a little. Mmm-mmm. She can’t even hear me. She probably thinks it’s her cell. Should I bark? Maybe if I growl she’ll put me down. Oops, bad choice of words
 —Why we all got to enjoy Seven of Nine's Republican campaign-sinking sex club stories.
—Off to a great start: Those wacky, original Maxim filmmakers gave their new production company the same name as Demi Moore's production company. Maybe next they'll get knocked up by Ashton Kutcher.
—Carmen Electra may be hot, but she certainly needs a crash course in gas station ettiquette. We're not fucking around, Carmen...gas is about fifteen dollars a gallon now. Don't make us any angrier at the pump.