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We've been wondering what hot new "community group" comes after kabbalah, after Scientology, and after whatever cult it is that everyone joins when they move to California which makes them dumb. Now we know! By the marks on her shoulders, we can see that poor Gwyneth Paltrow has fallen victim to a hot new self-flagellating UFO-enthusiast cult. Well, either that or she has a mean case of tertiary syphilis. [Update: Our new favorite theory — Gwynnie went a-cupping. Second favorite: "that's from one of those hot-glass massages they do in like Vietnam or something."]
Anchorman Screening [Open All Night]

See also: Gwyneth's Lady of the Rings [Evening Standard]