This image was lost some time after publication.

Variety anticpates a battle between Paramount and Fox over next year's Fourth of July weekend, when both Mission: Impossible 3 and Fantastic Four are scheduled to open. Defamer is up to the challenge of fearlessly predicting the outcome of this face-off, presuming that one of the studios doesn't pull their offering off the Independence Day picnic table and withdraw from Hollywood's biggest dick-measuring contest.

1. Mission: Impossible 3 $65 million
Even a messy lawsuit in April of 2005, in which Cruise sues his male urologist for innocently smiling during a routine studio insurance check-up, can't stop the M:I franchise's summer dominance. An easy victory for Cruise and Paramount.

2. Fantastic Four $35 million
Another ill-timed 2005 Cruise lawsuit (this time against a Fox publicist for allegedly starting a rumor that the star was first choice for the Human Torch) inspires some extra ticket sales. But Fantastic Four is ultimately more Hellboy than X-Men.

Bonus prediction:
3. Untitled Lindsay Lohan Project Featuring Some Brief Lohan Nudity $21 million
You heard it here first.