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Sister site Gawker posts on a recent legal threat inspired by our recent coverage of the utterly non-hot, totally illegal Cameron Diaz "S&M" tape. The endless threat letter is excerpted over at Gawker. Seriously, if Diaz's publicity people spent one-tenth of the effort that Diaz's legal attack dogs spend on cease-and-desist letters, her ass would've been nominated for its tear-jerking performance in both Charlie's Angels movies.

But we at Defamer are committed to provide a fitting resitiution for Cameron's pain and suffering. If any of you purchased the illegal footage, we can't exactly ask you to un-masturbate. But we can suggest that you collect any of your spilled fandom and mail it to Diaz's lawyers, who may return your goodwill with a signed headshot. Failing that, Fleshbot also offers some alternate advice.