Short Ends: Whoopi Canned By Diet-In-A-Can
—A nasty diet drink, Whoopi Goldberg, "a stream of vulgar sexual wordplays on Bush's name in a riff about female genitalia," and the loss of a sponsorship. All of the elements for comedy are here, but we just can't make ourselves care.
—Go to Disneyland and you die. It's really that simple. [via blogging.la]
—Did we mention that Hasselhoff likes Players Extreme Vodka? How's the rehab going, Dave?
—In an unexpected moment of prescience, we wrote this about the Olsen Twins: "Also, we're not quite sure which one of the set is going to be the Corey Feldman and which the Corey Haim, but the process of figuring it out is sure to be magnificent." Y'all better start listening to us; the twins you save may be your own.