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—Has today been the gayest day ever? Ugg boots, handbags, Andy Dick, Linda Effing Ronstadt? In the interest of a little breath-of-fresh-air, penis-in-vagina news, please enjoy this story of Justin Timberlake having heterosexual relations with a big-breasted sort-of actress-y type.
—Yes, we've heard all about Michael Jackson's miracle sperm knocking up a surrogate with quads. What is there to say about MJ? To paraphrase genius comedian Patton Oswalt, wake us up when he rapes a werewolf.
—John Litvack, one of the men behind the fresh-faced, whiny teens y'all love watch growing up on the WB, quits/is fired from the network. [sub. req'd.]
—MTV names new Head Teenager in Charge.
—Nearly as good as the "Our Governor Has A Tiny Cock" throw pillow.