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—Britney Spears is planning her big day—no, not the monster truck pull—and both the Kabbalists and the Baptists want a piece of the fake-Jewish/white-trash hybrid action. Also, Britney discovers the wonderful world of ironic t-shirts. How about one that says, "I'm marrying for money"?
—Bernard Weinraub, NYT Hollywood reporter and husband of Sony movie exec Amy Pascal, quits. LAW's Nikki Finke has the scoop, but we kind of miss the East Coast vs West Coast war rhetoric of earlier columns.
—David and Kyle Get Blue Balls at the White Castle (with pics!)
—Commie pinko Hollywood liberals deny attempt at brainwashing Americans with The Manchurian Candidate remake.
—We think it's Chris Noth's body fat, and not the peculiar salination of the Dead Sea, that allows him to float effortlessly in its waters.
—The real news from the convention: Is bloated, pink-nosed Massachusetts senator Ted Kennedy drunk yet?