Intern Neel Shah is working the Dunkin Donuts stand at the Democratic Convention in Boston. His report today features drunken ramblings (drunken on both parts, we're sure) with the Washington Post gossip columnist Richard Leiby. The word from under the big top: about as much fun as a weekend in Fajullah.

Hey there, gang. Sharpen that #2 pencil and get a good seat behind a bespectacled Asian kid, cause it s time for your Democratic Convention Multiple Choice Quiz! (and yes, I have to resort to lame gimmicks like this cause because Boston totally sucks ass. Fucking Omarosa in the VIP section of Roxy for Puffy protege Farnsworth Bentley s performance, being catered to by Kerry staffers? Why, was the midget from that Fox show booked?)

In any case, Washington Post Reliable Source columnist Richard Leiby agrees that Boston is so bad it s not even as cool as D.C., which is already New York's retarded step-brother. And when you re not even as cool as DC, well... you got some serious problems.

Which of the following did he say about the scene here in a brief conversation at The New Republic/Economist bash last night?

A) I hate gang bangs like these conventions. Bad food, can t drink late, can t smoke. [Wait a second was he talking about New York? I was already blacked out.]
B) I'd rather cover post-war Baghdad than the gossip here.
C) I think I relate better to the Sunni Tribal Sheiks than these people
D) Lloyd Grove had it good when he was in DC. This shit is only getting worse.
E) I am totally jealous of Wonkette.
F) All of the above.

Answer: F. My thoughts precisely.