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The results from the post-convention weekend:

1. The Village — $50.8 million (eerily accurate Defamer projection: $51 million)
An informal poll of nearly everyone we know went something like this:
Defamer: "Did you see The Village?"
Moviegoer: "Yes"
Defamer: "What did you—"
Moviegoer: "Sucked."
Spooky fauxteur M. Night Shyamalan's next blockbuster: A home video of Shyamalan hiding around corners and jumping out to startle his children. In the last minute of the movie, he tells the kids that Steven Spielberg is actually their father.

2. The Bourne Supremacy — $23.4 million
Matt Damon is now such a huge box-office draw that he ordered Ben Affleck be digitally replaced by a Chocolate Labrador in all of the vaguely homoerotic "buddy" photographs taken early in their career, and his lead bodyguard has strict instructions to taser anyone in a Red Sox cap that breaks his fifty-foot womb of security.

3. The Manchurian Candidate — $20.2 million
Chameleon actress Meryl Streep disappeared so completely into her "not Hillary Clinton" character that she's been sent anonymous, baffling pictures of Rosie O'Donnell shampooing her carpet.

4. I, Robot — $10.05 million
5. Spider-Man 2 — $8.5 million
We're so very, very tired of silly robots and red-and-blue spandex. They will never be dislodged from the top five.

Bonus Box Office:
7. Harold & Kumar Go To White Castle — $5.15 million
Don't count out H&KGTWC. There are way too many people on drugs for this movie not to turn a nice profit.