This image was lost some time after publication, but you can still view it here.

Just in time to give his meticulously-controlled image a final hetero spit-shine before the opening of Collateral this Friday (was Pat Kingsley this heavy-handed when she was running the show?), Tom Cruise tells the world, "I Love Women!" Cruise effuses on his 100% straight love of the gender that is born with vaginas, [Ed.note—No, silly, you probably can't have the sewn-on kind. Although he's probably so secure in his heterosexuality he wouldn't be threatened by you in the least!]:

I'm the guy who's going to get married again. I'm not going to give up on that. I really love that kind of friendship and intimacy... She has to have a great sense of humor and not mind having a little adventure in her life. I like riding motorcycles and flying airplanes and I want someone who's going to enjoy doing the things I enjoy.

So, to summarize: Straight, straight, loves women, heterosexual sex, traditional man-woman marriage, butch activities like flying airplanes, straight, women, women, straight. Got it? If not, his legal teams has a special remedial program that only costs about two or three million dollars to complete.

Another thing that Tom loves is Scientology, which he neglected to mention in the article. But the troops were out in force for last night's Hollywood premiere of Collateral. Among the throng: Erika Christensen, Jenna Elfman, Juliette Lewis, Catherine Bell, and Leah Remini. Hey, they all happen to be women!