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In this edition: An Olsen Twin walks past food without noticing, Ashley Olsen goes to Balthazar, John Turturro enjoys fatherhood, Nic Cage feeding his wife Alice Kim and family, Julia Stiles looking pudgy, Derek Jeter with arm candy, Kevin Bacon on the subway, Christina Applegate and Jonathan Schaech doing the married thing, Peter Krause being insecure, Nathan Lane dining, Ricky Martin hanging around outside the men's room, Adam Duritz being puffy-faced, Bachelorette Meredith and preppy man-toy Ian, and Fisher Stevens cutting the DMV line. Evil!

· Friday the 6th. Standing with a coupla slices outside Joe's Pizza on Carmine & Bleecker. It's lunchtime and who else do we expect to see walking toward us but one of the bite-size Olson twins sandwiched between a man and a woman, both ordinary and mid-20s. A summery beige cowboy hat devouring the mystery twin's face and a pair of giant aviators masking her eyes, I'm guessing it was Ashley because I noted a nicely filled-out rump as she climbed into the back of a silver Mercedes G55. But, as she passed, she did not so much as even glance in the direction of Manhattan's finest by-the-slice! So maybe it was Mary-Kate after all.

· Was at Balthazar yesterday (8/8 12pm) for Brunch with the wife and had several sightings. The first being the Olsen twin that didn't go to CoughRehabCough. It was weird because she sat at the table around the corner from the door with her back to the window, resultng in her being noticeably seen by everyone in the restaurant. Most likely she is fishing for some mention in Page Six that she is normal without her sister. The other was Drea DeMatteo at the bar with some friends having a swell time. And lastly Geoffrey Holder, the voodoo guy from James Bond's Live & Let Die and those "Welcome to Jamaica!" ads in the '80s. He was sitting near us and his voice is seriously cool, especially when ordering Pellegrino.

· Saw John Turturro with a kid I guess is his son on his shoulders walking around DUMBO after the Chili Crab fest on Saturday. He was kidding around with the boy and seemed to be really sweet.

· I had a great sighting tonight. I was out dining on the company at Asiate, the French/Japanese/24th Century fusion restaurant in the Time Warner Center's Mandarin Oriental Hotel. Sitting alone with his clean shave was Nicholas Cage. After a few minutes, 20-year-old new bride and retired sushi waitress Alice Kim sauntered in with family in hand. Nick had the waiter present her a oversized bouquet of flowers. She smiled, smelled, and everyone sat down to begin the obligatory "Meet the Parents" dinner. Fockers!

· Saw Julia Stiles on 2nd & 14th the other day. Same old blonde hair, some dumb yoga pants, and an almost-baby-tee, so that her pudge was just barely visible. Is she seriously still famous?, I wondered. Well, apparently. About 20 steps later I saw her on the cover of Jane, or some other Girl Power rag. And I just so happened to be on my way to see Bourne Supremacy out of sheer boredom. Lo and behold, she was in that, too. Her screams were pretty realistic in the film, but probably because she gets fisted on a daily basis by her bull dyke girlfriend. Julia is a lezbo, right?

· Tuesday night: Saw Derek Jeter on 79th and 3rd, walking with a (need I say it) gorgeous girl in a tight red tank top. He was dressed down, in very loose jeans and a t-shirt, but still looking good. Followed him for a block before a gaggle of teenage girls started buzzing and he ducked down 78th street toward the park.

· Saw Kevin Bacon AGAIN (I see him all the time because he lives a few blocks away) this morning, first standing on his apartment building steps peering out like a beacon of light then following me into the subway (of course he was following me). I proceeded to stalk him into the car he was riding on but pretended I wasn t interested. He was wearing black sweatpants with a green stripe, nicely accessorized with a well worn green Eagles baseball hat and a black t-shirt and sneaks. He wore his sunglasses and was reading the NY Times the whole time. I watched the other subway riders with amusement to see if they noticed it was him. I think a few were a little startled out of their morning stupor but no one bothered him. He is cute but a rather ordinary, if vaguely hip, guy. I got out in Midtown but he continued on I wondered if he was going downtown to look at apartments because I saw in the NY Post that he might be looking to move out of the neighborhood (sob)!

· saw christina applegate and her hot, long-haired hubby jonathan schaech exiting the american airlines theater after a performance of "after the fall." star peter krause came out a bit later to sign a few autographs. also, overheard krause asking his driver how his critics were that night.

· Nathan Lane at Caf Fiorello in front of Lincoln Center having an early dinner with a friend before his performance of The Frogs. Also, Kevin Bacon walking on the Upper West Side with a dreadlock headed boy.

· ricky martin was lingering outside the men's room at wenner media here. ostensibly it was to look at various rolling stone magazine covers, which are sort of ill-advisedly situated outside said restrooms, but, anyway.

· Saw Counting Crow's Adam Duritz on the street last night around 11:45pm, near the West 4 stop, in front of the Taco Bell/KFC. He was talking on his phone and looking rather puffy.

· I attended a press event this past Monday (8/2) for Sterling at the hangers-on Hudson hotel. The invite promised to have the likes of Patricia Field, Lisa Ling, etc. running around but it ended up just having dining sets designed after these celebrity "inspirations." The only faux-famous desperate enough to show up were Meredith and Ian of Bachelor fame. They held hands by their wedding-ish table and dripped with preppy-ness.

· Saw fisher stevens at NYC DMV looking very small and squirrelly. Had some back office manager letting him cut the line to get a New York drivers license. Still a mystery how he ever bagged michelle Pfeiffer.