We all knew it was coming, a calamitous moment sure to quake the celeb-o-sphere: the aesthetically pleasing but completely retarded team of Cameron Diaz and Justin Timberlake have reportedly finalized their wedding plans, according to an array of second-rate and sometimes dubious news services.

While we're sure this union will result in a helicopter-adorned wedding and a nasty, immediate divorce, we can only hope that they find the time to squeeze out at least one untalented spawn destined for a life of insane wealth and emotional cripplehood.
Diaz And Justin To Wed [Sky News]
Cammy And Justin To Get Hitched? [BBC - Radio 1 News]
Justin's To Wed Diaz [The Sun UK]