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Neil Strauss' profile of Tom Cruise in the new Rolling Stone has us scratching our heads, as it seems to toe the line between full-on reacharound and tip-toeing hit piece. (We haven't seen the full, print version, just the online excerpt, so we're reserving judgment until we steal the neighbor's copy.) But after Cruise's recent press binge, he should be begging Pat Kingsley to take him back and lock him up in the dungeon where she's kept him all these years, safe from his bizarre publicity impulses. The guy really does seem to love Scientology, though, and he might just snap your neck if you've got a problem with it:

He lists some of Scientology's selling points: its drug-abuse, prison-rehabilitation and education programs. "Some people, well, if they don't like Scientology, well, then, fuck you." He rises from the table. "Really." He points an angry finger at the imaginary enemy. "Fuck you." His face reddens. "Period."