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We imagined the premiere of Vincent Gallo's latest film, Brown Bunny, to be the sort of freakish indie carnival we dream about, populated with the unwashed masses of hip people performing fellatio. But we were misguided. Gawker Embedded Reporter Jared Abbott reports from the "inside" and finds Vincent Gallo ranting about the evil alternative press.

Chloë (with an umlaut, bitch) looked lovely - sat in the corner most of the evening with a few lady friends and the always charming and helpful Sean and Alex from Kim's Video on St Marks. Had some champagne, sent a million text messages, left in a limo with entourage.

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Speaking of, Vincent arrived with Kevin Connelly (Eric from the HBO series...uh... Entourage) and sat with him most of the evening. When I asked Vincent for a photo, he very politely declined, introduced me to his friends, and went into a story about how the Times, the Voice, LA Weekly, etc, had all fucked him over in the last week, so he's very apprehensive about dealing with anyone from "the press". I even gave him the opportunity for photo approval but he said "next time I see you."

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Vinnie feels that most major outlets are completely irresponsbile, and added that the nicest people he dealt with during "Buffalo '66" was a local gay weekly. We then had a nice discussion about Claire Denis and what fine work she does. He's sweet, charming, and funny....not what you'd expect from a Republican, but that's a whole nother issue.

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This image was lost some time after publication.

Moby sat in the back with a pretty blonde thing (what else is new?). Didn't chat with many people...I kept waiting for a MoveOn.org tshirt or a bottle of Teany to be displayed. I think he's a sellout twat so I didn't even bother asking him for a photo. He should dress better considering he free-whored his music out for Nike commercials, Mr. I'm Going To Write To Save The World And Be Vegan And Love Everyone Essays In The Liner Notes Of "Everything Is Wrong" But I Don't Mind Giving Away My Shit For Free To Help Advertise For The Biggest Sweatshop In The World.

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This image was lost some time after publication.

The people from As Four were as...uh...enthusiastic as ever....I'm tired of the circular purses though. I'm waiting for the Octagon realness.

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Cheryl Tiegs was nowhere to be found; the evening's becoming a major let-down.

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There was a vibe of disappointment in the air. Nothing to do with the film; most people liked it (including myself) but it seemed everyone was expecting a wilder, more unpredictable party. Instead it was the same 200 faces you'd see at any indie film party, which isn't pretty, my friends.