Short Ends: More Britney, More Hiltons, Kill Kill Kill!
—Please, Jesus, can you make sure that Britney and Kevin get chosen for Newlyweds? Also, feed the hungry children in Somalia, etc etc, but only after you do the Britney thing. Amen.
—Oh yeah, Jesus? We're pretty certain that Britney is sorry about that dildo remark, just in case you're holding grudges.
—What's next for the Hilton sisters? The first idea on the list would probably set a video sales record, so we're pulling for that one. Those girls could really use the mad money.
—Tom Cruise finally (finally!) clams up about something deeply personal—his political leanings. Are the Scientologists running anybody this year?