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Enjoy the numbers from this weekend's thoroughly lackluster box office slate.

1. Exorcist: The Beginning — $18.2 million
How could we have doubted that Exorcist was going to come in Number One? Isn't it usually a good sign when a studio shoots an entire movie, puts it on the shelf, and then starts from scratch with Renny "Cutthroat Island" Harlin, master of atmospheric horror?

2. Without A Paddle — $13.7 million
Even though we picked WAP to win the weekend, we're strangely proud of the moviegoing public for not pushing a Dax Shepard movie to the top. Starring in the first season of Punk'd is not exactly paying your dues. Fun fact: Shepard's first credit in IMDB is "Vomiter at Party."

3. The Princess Diaries 2: Royal Engagement — $13.2 million
A second straight week of praying for Anne Hathaway to get embroiled in some Lindsay Lohan-type antics has gone for naught. Has she hired superpublicist Pat Kingsley to keep her image squeaky clean? Surely she's at least made out with a castmember of That 70s Show at the Spider Club. Have faith, something will come out eventually.

4. Alien Vs. Predator — $12.5 million
Whew. AVP fell 67 percent from its opening last weekend. It *was* a bomb! Everything is gonna be OK!

5. Open Water — $11.75 million
It's tough to tag a movie that cost about $15 to produce a failure after it pulled in almost $12 million in wide release. Are we going to do it anyway? Sigh. Yes, we are, but only because it didn't beat Alien Vs. Predator, a big studio film with a thousand times the budget. We're such assholes.