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Crazy-eyed The Brown Bunny fauxteur Vincent Gallo was on the Howard Stern radio show this morning, and his tour-de-force appearance nearly won us over. He slagged Buffalo 66 co-star/Eastside staple Christina Ricci as a good actress when she wasn't drunk on the set and lit into her publicist for promoting "fag movie" The Opposite of Sex over his. He took down an entire generation of actors as "DeNiro clones." He ably defended himself when Roger Ebert called in to remind everyone that the version of TBB that he saw in Cannes was "the worst movie ever made," even shifting his famous cancer curse on Ebert over to Paula Froelich at Page Six. [Ed. note—Paula, the man has creepy powers. Please take care of yourself.] He admitted to having sex with Paris Hilton, whom he insisted was "sexual" (um, duh) and "bright" (Gallo please). We were enraptured, for he might indeed say anything.

But then Stern decided to address the Fellatio Elephant squatting in his studio, and Gallo seized the opportunity to extend the mythology. Not only was the infamous blowjob real, but they had to perform "multiple takes, one after the other." There was also a self-reflexive shout-out to the majesty of his supposed girth. Oh, Vincent. You had us at "I spent 1 Night In Paris," but lost us again at "My unstoppable cock is so totally huge."