Believe it or not, we actually appreciate New York magazine's handy-dandy compilation of all the RNC paraphernalia we can handle. Without it, we might be inclined to go looking for information ourselves and, well, that sort of work ethic just doesn't bode well around here! Thankfully, the special convention issue is chock full of useful (by Gawker standards, anyhow) material, all of which convinces us that we won't see the light of day next week:

· Obviously, your RNC style is the most important thing. The "nonpartisan panel doles out style advice for both sides of the barricades." Versace for the hawks, Marc Jacobs for the doves. Brilliant!
· Unbeknownst to us, the Bush twins fucking own this town after dark. God help us all.
· You need to be able to spot a Republican when you're near one. Sometimes the younger ones are a little shifty.
· If you dare leave the apartment next week, you might as well pick the trendiest protests.
· What does it take to get a celebrity to work their magic at the convention? A fake booker finds out: it takes a lot. No surprise there.