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—"This will probably be the last edition until they come up with a new technology that will just beam us directly into your home and for $75 you get me and [co-star Jason] Mewes dancing and saying ‘Snootch to the Bootch!’" he added. "And you can probably do that with Ben Affleck too, star of Jersey Girl, if sh*t doesn’t turn around soon.”
—Scarlett Johansson's deeply, deeply troubling and misguided Daddy complex, starring the bloated John Travolta.
—Easily the funniest thing we've read all day, courtesy of geek-ass sister blog Gizmodo.
—The completely useless website of useless Queer Eye culture homo Jai Rodriguez. [via NewYorkish]
—Tom Leykis gets kicked in the head. Your first reaction is that it's a gang of women, but your first reaction is wrong.
—Low Culture has the "outline" for Tina Fey's latest script, about "[a] Hasidic Jew and a grizzled rock musician [who] form a band.
—Olympic swimming stud Michael Phelps totally hearts Lindsay Lohan, but we're pretty sure their training methods aren't compatible. [fifth item]