This image was lost some time after publication, but you can still view it here.

Friday
 1. Get your mope on at the Curiosa Festival. Better get to the Rite Aid or beauty supply store before there's a run on white Robert Smith face powder.
Saturday
 2. This weekend Los Angeles’ Hell House opens to the public, featuring a rotating cast including David Cross, Bill Maher, Traci Lords, Sarah Silverman, and (many) more. Go and see the vivid illustrations of why you heathens will one day marinate in the saucy flames of Hades. (No, Botox is not an damnable offense, but Uggs certainly are.)
3. Watch artists from around the world gather for Chalk Fest 2004, where they draw on and around the stars in Hollywood Boulevard and puddles of homeless people’s urine. Kids can participate in their own chalk area for a $7 donation! (Kiddie urine puddles should be self-supplied.)
Sunday
 4. Rock the Right, because it’s almost been a full whole day since we’ve had an anti-Bush concert. Truthfully, isn't that way too long?
5. Make sure Dave Matthews takes his shit with him after he plays the Home Depot Center.