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—We honestly don't care if you've seen this before, where it came from, or if it's a fake. (Probably.) Go ahead, try and stop us from linking to it. Oops, you couldn't.
—The Day in Lindsay Lohan: Lindsay nearly killed inside the Love Bug, but survives only to face annihilation by Tara Reid in a fight for Paris Hilton's affection. Say what? [via Thighs Wide Shut]
—First Britney fails to wed at the VMAs, then pulls a no-show at her own charity event. This time she's gone too far! Those kids aren't going to learn how steal baby-daddys and court dangerous public bathroom infections all by themselves! [scroll halfway down page]
—Singer Laura Branigan dies. The funeral will be shown Friday on VH-1, with moving eulogies by Michael Ian Black and Hal Sparks.
—Dave Matthews Band PoopGate rages on: DMB offers DNA to solve RV BM SNAFU.