When we think of a singles' party, we often imagine a lot of desperate girls and boys clawing at a few attractive souls for a last-minute fuck. At last night's "Meet Market" party, sponsored by the NY Post, this wasn't exactly the case — we didn't see a single couple making out! Perhaps the event was too classy for some darkened-corner ass-grabbing, but we thought with all the free vodka being splashed about that we'd get some action. Instead, we got belligerent and went home not with a warm body, but with a kickass gift bag. Special correspondent Jennifer Carlson reports, since Krucoff and yours truly can't remember much.

Last night we found ourselves at an invite-only, open-bar party held by the NY Post at Level V. The draw: free drinks. The deterrent: the name of the party was "Meet Market." We travelled to the Meatpacking District (pun? anyone?) where, somewhere below hudson street, there was an elite group single Manhattanites selectively chosen by the Posts' finest, all drowned in free vodka and tucked into one bar. Genius. We were sure to find my soul mate or, at the very least, end up on Page Six the next day. No? Page Seven? Back Page? No?

The crowd was what you'd expect: attractive, glossy, well-heeled, drunk. Several singles were waiting in a long-ish line to be photographed for the Post's dating page. We walked up to the queue at various points to ask why they wanted to be featured and, after a lot of shrugs and "Why not?"-type answers, we heard what we knew to be true: "Oh, I don't know why I'm doing this. I've had a lot to drink. I'll regret it tomorrow."

We mingle with several media types, people in PR, people on the "press list." Oh, nooo, none of us are here for the dating aspect. None of us are "participating." Sure, sure, we're here for the drinks. Let's just keep telling ourselves that.

Anyway, after two very delicious sugar rimmed martinis with flowers floating in them, we realized not only were we unsure if these flowers were edible, but we were not to find Mr. Right... Or Mr. Right Now... Or Mr. He'll Do. But did we want to? Hell no! We had our eyes set on something more special. More divine. More glorious than anything a boy at a "meet market" party could offer us. The gift bag. Rumoured to be worth upwards of $300, I retrieved mine and hit the street.

Free facials, botox, spa treatments, massages galore! Lip balm, lipstick, lip gloss, lip venom...oh my! Perfumes and Club Monaco gift certificates... Thank you NY Post! Thank you, Tom Sykes and Danica Lo, for throwing this fabulous party! Thank you, God, for creating swag!