This image was lost some time after publication, but you can still view it here.

Drag your beer-bloated bodies off the sand and into your local theater in exactly the proportions listed below.

1. Hero — $14 million
We doubted Hero last week, but against a field of aspirationally mediocre end-of-season castoffs, it should scratch out a box office win. Your high-brow chopsocky flick options are painfully limited this holiday weekend.

2. Wicker Park — $12 million
Josh Hartnett's stare smoldering from beneath an imposing unibrow and the presence of Matthew Lillard, late summer's top second banana, should be sufficient to attract the elusive retarded teenage girl dollar and push it to number two.

3. The Cookout — $8 million
It's always nice to see Queen Latifah getting work. We don't actually want to see the work in most cases, but $8 million doesn't seem like too much of a reach.

4. Paparazzi — $7 million
The words "Cole Hauser vehicle" do not under any circumstances bode well for a movie's financial prospects. Don't even bother to scramble to IMDb to find out who Cole Hauser is. You'll probably never have to read about him again.

5. Vanity Fair — $6 million
We can't really be objective about Vanity Fair. The very name conjures images of sickeningly loving celebrity cover photos, and we originally moved to Hollywood to make an English period picture with a bunch of random Indian shit thrown in.