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We were shrugging off the after-effects of the Labor Day weekend with the Fall TV preview issue of Entertainment Weekly (don't worry, we were in the bathroom) when we noticed an ad for the DVD release of Jersey Girl. With nothing but time on our hands and the unpleasant alternative of actually having to read the prose in EW, we decided to deconstruct the clever composition of the video box. Our analysis is after the jump; click on the picture at left to see the entire image.

1. Simultaneous appeal to Clerks/Chasing Amy fans and message that Kevin Smith has risen above the debacle of Jersey Girl.

2. Elimination of the now-reviled Jennifer Lopez's minor contribution to the film.

3. Missed opportunity to sneakily rename film and pass it off as a straight-to-video creation.

4. Potentially misleading/out-of-context quote from possibly senile media personality with no movie reviewing credentials.

5. George Carlin rolls eyes to disassociate himself from movie.

6, Indicates possible presence of hot, pie-fucking action, setting up pastry-buggering aficionados for a severe letdown.

7. Liv Tyler is not J. Lo.

8. It was probably contractually impossible to remove Ben Affleck from the video box, so designers include (yet another) reminder that the main on-screen romance involves Affleck and Tyler, not Bennifer.

9. Simultaneous appeal to fans of adorable child actors and creeps who are trying to discover the next Lindsay Lohan way ahead of the jailbait curve.

UPDATE: Deconstructing the Jersey Girl Video Box, Part II