· If you didn't think prison crowding was an issue, think again: domestic felon Martha Stewart continues to run somewhat free because there are no beds available at Danbury federal prison. [Page Six]

· Paris Hilton's tour de force, Confessions Of An Heiress, debuted yesterday at #59 on Amazon.com, ensuring that the book she barely wrote will garner her more cash that she doesn't need. So. Not. Fair. [NYDN]

· According to Us Weekly, First Twin Jenna Bush got stuck in an elevator at Club 17. Always resourceful, Jenna pries the elevator doors open with chopsticks and celebrates her freedom with tequila. She's like a drunken MacGyver! [NYDN (last item)]

· Heiress Casey Johnson and Bijou Phillips have enlisted wunder-lawyer Robert Shapiro to defend them against former Playboy model Nicole Lenz's $1 million defamation and battery lawsuit. The motion to throw out Lenz's case more or less calls her a has-been — oh, snap! [Page Six]

· Flacktastic Lizzie Grubman has her hands full chasing around the Gotti boys. This has to be some sort of karmic retribution for her past sins, no? [NYDN (bottom of page)]