The Projectionist: Paramount Killing Sky Captain?
Finally, we can declare the industry's late-summer garbage time officially over. Three movies open wide today, complete with some much-needed star wattage. Most importantly, Without a Paddle's evil squatting in the top five should finally end.
1. Sky Captain and the World of Tomorrow — $36 million
How is Paramount managing to f up the first high-profile release in weeks? They've got Jude Law, Gwyneth Paltrow, and Angelina Jolie crammed into a movie that we've been excited to see for a long time. Still, there's the spectre of declining buzz all around. Seemingly everyone involved has been hedging their bets and babbling about what a "risk" they were taking with the movie, and as our pals at LAist note, they've been pumping a quote by handlebar-mustached irrelevance Gene Shalit. Come on, Paramount, it seems like forever since you've had a blockbuster, but stop shitting yourself and act like you've been there before.
2. Mr. 3000 — $18 million
We love us some Bernie Mac, we really do. Still, we expect to see between five and ten jokes "adapted" from the first Major League.
3. Wimbledon — $14 million
Paul Bettany pretty much summed it up when he told Premiere, "It goes: Get me that guy who looks like Jude Law but cheaper. What’s his name?’ ‘Paul Bettany.’" Sure, Kirsten Dunst is hanging around, but do we really want to see her fucking around on Spider-Man?
4. Resident Evil: Apocalypse — $9 million
Milla Jovovich, killing zombies, blah blah blah. Maybe some Slurpee-addled kids will go see Sky Captain instead of buying another ticket to this one.
5. Cellular — $6 million
We may even rent Cellular one day if it makes our dream of not having to write another word about Without a Paddle a reality. Indeed, we have pathetic dreams these days.