This image was lost some time after publication.

· Can 18 year-old Lindsay Lohan pull off her upcoming role as a New York publicist? Well, she drinks, she smokes, and her breasts might not be real — yeah, we think she'll be fine. [Page Six]
· Paris Hilton's memoir reaches #5 on the WSJ best-seller list. Not surprisingly, she has no idea what this means. [NYDN (3rd item)]
· NBC execs ask Donald Trump to keep his talks exclusive to NBC's "Access Hollywood" host Billy Bush which, we imagine, must be akin to being eaten alive by pygmies. Donald agrees and talkes to CBS's Pat O'Brien instead. [Page Six]
· Tom Cruise graciously opens a Scientology center in Madrid. The opening ceremony was attended by approximately 1000 people, most of whom thought they were merely attending a party featuring Tom Cruise. Silly Spaniards, you should know better! [Scoop]