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Hollywood PrivacyWatch celebrity sightings are sent in by our night-vision-goggled readers. Send yours to tips@defamer.com and let John Travolta know you've noticed how his hats have gone up three sizes since Lucky Numbers.

In today's jam-packed episide: Jude Law leering at some typical Chateau Marmont action, Billy Bob Thornton at Urth, Keanu Reeves receiving a reader's appreciation for not losing his shit at LAX [Ed.note—publicist alert!], Jon Voight, Rebecca Romijn and Jerry O'Connell, Sarah Michelle Gellar and FPJ, Matt Dillon on the infamous Sunset Coffee Bean's Jackass Patio, Jimmy Kimmel, Aretha Franklin, Babyface and John Mellencamp, OutKast, Samaire Armstrong, Martha Plimpton, Carson Kressly, and a terrifying Loretta Swit sighting we recommend you don't read.

· Spotted Jude Law in the Chateau Marmont bar Tuesday night (late) following the premiere of Sky Captain. Held court with a large entourage - mostly pretty young things, including latest flame Sienna. Was struck by how small he is - both shorter and thinner than i thought he would be. Seemed pretty low key — but he loved the two chicks on the far right couch that were making out.

· i saw billy bob thornton with his fiancee? (wife? who the hell knows anymore?) at the little urth cafe (beverly drive) on friday night. at first i couldn't believe it was billy bob because his arms were actually bigger than those of my 5 lb. cavalier king charles spaniel, but one glimpse of the tattoos and i knew i had an affirmative. he was wearing bad jeans and his woman friend was about to pop.

· Friday 9/17 2:15 pm PST: Keanu Reeves was in the security line with me at the American Airlines terminal at LAX. He was very low key and was dressed in t shirt, blazer, jeans, wallabees (sp?), and trucker hat - basically nice grunge. He has grown a thick, dark beard so many did not recognize him. He was accompanied by a woman in her 40s (or so) and an older man who looked familiar (like the older bald guy on The Bonnie Hunt Show - forget his name).

Anyway, Keanu et al were very low key and acted like normal people - no attitude, no preferential treatment, etc. I was impressed. I looked for him in the 1st class cabin on the flight back to NY but he hasn't there; he must have been travelling to another destination. We hear about bad behavior a lot so I wanted to point out some good/normal celebrity behavior.

· saw kelsey grammer walking his dog down montana ave. i thought he was giving me the eye, but then i looked down and realized he was hitting on my dog.

· Wednesday, I saw Jon Voight at Cafe Sushi on Beverly. He looks much less waxen in person. He was dining with
a young man — not his son/Angelina Jolie's make-out partner, sadly — and an eccentric looking middle-aged guy who kept good-naturedly harassing the waitress. I really wanted to ask him how he got talked into appearing in Britney Spears's first HBO special, but I didn't have the nerve.

· Spotted Rebecca Romijn and Jerry O'Connell at MOCA.. He was creepy... had to keep his hand on her ass the whole time, probably to protect her from any wild lesbians on the loose

· I saw Sarah Michelle Gellar and husband/pet Freddie Prinze Jr. at Beacon in Culver City on Friday night. She looked cute and EXACTLY like she does on TV, which is odd because every girl I know that's seen her complains that she looks very ordinary and plain in person. She rocked hole-y jeans, heels and a beige silky halter top. Not as thin as I assumed she'd be —tiny but normal, I thought she'd be more Olsen twin-like. Freddie was with her, in a frat/jock looking navy track suit — way to dress to compliment your wife, dude. He was saying something very quiet and looking at her very whipped when she interrupted him with a snappish "WHAT??!!" but they shut up when they walked in the restaurant. Wonder why she was all the way down there, maybe doing reshoots at Sony for something? A development meeting for Scoobie Doo 3? Please god don't let that be the case.

· sighting on coffee bean jackass patio: Kevin Dillon's no talent brother [Ed.note—We confirmed he uncharitably means Matt Dillon], standing on line rocking back and forth talking into his cell phone. Hung up to chat with a very very very young blonde in a mostly unbuttoned sundress for upwards of seven minutes, at which point this correspondent could bear to watch no more

· Spotted Jimmy Kimmel pushing a shopping cart around Best Buy on La Brea this past Saturday afternoon, looking unrecognized and considerably thinner than I expected.

· saw aretha franklin at the ivy on sunday night. also saw kenneth 'baby face' edmonds dining with john 'cougar' mellencamp.

· Was driving home Saturday at midnight down Highland (big mistake) when I spotted a limo on the street at Del Taco and with Andre 3000, Big Boi, and a gaggle of hoochies. I thought about climbing out of the car and getting into the limo as if i owned the shit but I realized it would go something like this...

Bodyguard: "hey who the fuck are you?"
Me: "Token white guy. shut up. Where's Ashton?"

*kick kick stomp stomp* Me laying in the middle of highland all beat up,
everyone honking at me, traffic now backing up to Olympic.

· I saw Samaire Armstrong (Anna from The O.C.) chatting on her cell phone while driving a generic I-don't-know-if-I'll-be-getting-another-big-paycheck Toyota on Santa Monica Blvd. today. She was all made up and looked quite pretty.

· One of my most nostalgic sightings. I was at the grove's wood ranch (so busted, but i love their BBQ) and i heard some cackling laughter. I look over to see Stef from the Goonies, i mean Martha Plimpton. We thought she was having a night out with the 'rents, but turns out it was a just a gaggle of older actor looking types. She was gesturing, laughing and having a grand ol' time. Pixie hair cut to the max. Totally Cutie McCutesworth!

· saw carson kressly from queer eye on rodeo on saturday. he was with a male companion, and i'm guessing he was picking out some bling for the emmys. he looked pretty good... is that because every other person shopping there has probably had part of their ass sucked out and transplanted into their face?

· I was at Santa Monica Civic Center for a cat show on 9/18 (long, embarrassing story about why I was there showing a cat). In a giant room of freaky cat people, I encountered the spookiest thing I have ever seen at a cat show. This is saying a lot (think "Best in Show" but 10x worse/more hilarious). This person stopped to look at my kitten. I prattled on about my cat to get a better look at what I first thought was a newly out Asian-European transsexual. He/she was tall with a stretched smooth latex face, giant fish lips and a blonde wig made of what looked like hair from sad dolls grabbed from the free boxes at garage sales. I really thought it was a 60 yr old man dressing up as a woman for the first or second time.

A few minutes later I hear one of her group refer to her as "Loretta". I immediately thought this. It was far, far more frightening in person. The worst plastic surgery I've seen in person.