· Okay, so Britney Spears is "spiritually" married, not, like, legally married. Don't bother digesting this, we're sure the story will change in another 10 minutes. [NYDN]
· Dallas Mavericks owner Mark Cuban, whose reality tv venture, "The Benefactor," debuted to miserable ratings, claims Donald Trump lends himself to "The Apprentice" because he needs the money. That almost makes sense, but not at all. [Page Six]
· The birthday party Jennifer Lopez planned for hubby Marc Anthony is nothing but class: karaoke and a cake featuring an airbrushed image of the birthday boy. [Sun UK]
· Are Jessica Simpson and Nick Lachey on the rocks? And wouldn't a separation episode of "Newlyweds" be fucking awesome? [Page Six]