Team Party Crash passed on the doggy-style party at the Waldorf Wednesday night in favor of a special, emotional evening — "1924-2004, Eighty Years of Italian Emotional Jewelry" — hosted by the heirs of the Damiani dynasty and held at Le Cirque's L'Orangerie and Library rooms. David Patrick Columbia, eat your goose heart out. Andrew Krucoff reports on the the crusty implant set.

So I did what comes naturally to me and wandered cluelessly through a hot, crowded room filled with real bling and fake boobs on par with a movie premiere. Maybe this was the B-list society team but, aside from a couple obvious models, there were a lot of worn, weathered, downright frumpy looking trolls scattering around in European labels. But I don't judge, no no, except for the Devil-Dutchess In A Blue Dress who nudged her way past me at the open bar with the assuring quip, "you KNOW I'm going before you!" Of course you are, and then I did my best to shake the sweat from my head onto her back.

Getting down to details, the evening's bold-faced names included: Bai Ling, Gina Gershon, Tatum O'Neal, Brini Maxwell, Judith Nathan, Daniel Rodriguez, Levar Burton (Star Trek dude!), Pamela Fiori, Gigi Stone, Yoanna House, Yorba Buena, Jardine LiBaire, Alex Kramer, Julie Danenberg, Sir Howard Stringer, and Amy Sacco.

Apparently Giselle Bundchen, Ling and Gershon were all at the new Damiani store on Madison Avenue earlier in the day picking out jewelry to wear at the party. I didn't see Giselle in attendance, unless she was hiding in a salmon-wrap, so I guess she took the
jewels and ran.

Other juicy bits washed down with our favorite brand of vodka:

*As reported today in Page Six, Gwyneth Paltrow will be announced as the new worldwide face of Damiani early next month. Jennifer Aniston was the last face of Damiani but only overseas. It's reputed that in a few early test shots, Gwyneth is wearing one of the wedding bands from Brad Pitt's signature Damiani collection, no doubt inspired by Jennifer Aniston. Hollywood is SO FULL OF LOVE! Feel it. Buy it.

*Crouching Tiger star Bai Ling hears voices. She said that there were six voices in her head last night. One of them needed to tell her that along with the borrowed jewelry she was also showing off her Areola Borealis in a revealing cocktail dress.

*Gina Gershon and Tatum O'Neal are BFF. They were inseparable all night long and then left together wearing the Damiani necklaces loaned to them for the party. That's hot.

Perhaps the evening's real tear-jerker, for me at least, was meeting Daily News gossip columnist Lloyd Grove as he held court at the kiddie table. He looked pained, even anguished as if he was fighting with internal demons, or maybe indigestion. Surrounded by youngsters half his age he declined to join us for "phase 2" at Cabanas in the
Maritime Hotel. Good move on his part.

I knew it was the end of very long evening as I chatted with George Gurley of the NY Observer about American writers living in Moscow and how easy it is to score slutty Russians.