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In this edition: Kevin Bacon loves Osama; Mary-Kate Olsen continues to pick at her food; the Strokes are still everywhere; Milla Jovavich and Kanye West support Steve Jobs; Uma Thurman is an organic giant; Halley Berry shops Barneys; Patti Smith loiters on MacDougal; Demi Moore's kids are on a budget; Carson Kressley can read; Jonathan Franzen goes to a book party with Sigrid Nunez, Sarah Schulman, Dale Peck, and Francine Prose; Ethan Hawke dresses like shit; reality tv stars abound; Lili Taylor does the downward dog; Adam Duritz continues to appear; Moby's skull gets some air; Justin Theroux does something hot; Joe Queenan is recognized; Tatum O'Neal doesn't show her miles; Philip Bloch and J. Alexander interact; Jim McGreevy stares back; Tim Armstrong is not real; David Blaine gets face time with Rosario Dawson; Neal McDonough is a slacker; John Norris loves The Cock; and Joel Grey uses big words.

· Thursday evening, waiting to get on a flight from toronto to NYC. As ever security people are pulling suspicious looking types out of the line to give em the once over. Metal detector tests. Pat down. Check the shoes. The whole bit. SO naturally they go for the guy in the shades and the baseball hat and the leather jacket. Because, as we all know, Kevin Bacon (for it was he) is a notorious threat to national security. Well shit he has played terrorists on screen. Or maybe it was a bank robber he played. Or perhaps just a lousy boyfriend. Thing is, this method acting can really get them into the part and who knows where that will end. Can't tell you how much of a thrill it was to stand in the same line as Kevin Bacon and watch him have such a lousy time. This, of course, is the dilemma of the modern celebrity: don't wear shades and hat and get recognised by wet knickered fans; do wear shades and hat and get pulled over by George Dubya's finest.

· Saw Mary Kate Olsen chowing down on some salad-like substance at Florent.

· Dined with Albert Hammond Jr last night at one of the many shabu places in the east village. Instantly recognizable, huge fluffy hair, and lots of charisma. Was with two incredibly tiny scruffy guys with stubble. Them: baggy slogan t-shirts that would have been tight on a normal-sized person; Him: ultra-tight striped shirt. Very pleasant all around, Albert asked the waitress if the noodles were "the ones that come with that salt and pepper", and shook hands and chatted with the one person who came up to say hi. They talked about tofu and mentioned Julian. Left before us, allowing me to see that Albert is INSANELY SKINNY. And, his head is very big (even allowing for the hair).

· 9/20, Julian Casablancas with unidentified female (violently vomiting blogger girl?) at Cafe Deville on 3rd ave. He was pretty easy to identify what with the greasy hair, bloated face, and the work shirt with a patch on it that said "Jules"; and then there was the trucker hat that said "Hey, I'm the lead singer of the Strokes, notice me bitches". OK, well there was all of that, minus the trucker hat.

· Wednesday night around 3am, Drew Barrymore and her boyfriend Fabrizio [Moretti] Stroke (and entourage) showed up at Niagara. Both she and Fab were really nice. She looked great, all decked out in rock-n-roll style — jean jacket, etc. She's tiny! Their whole party hung out upstairs for awhile, someone put on 70s AM-radio songs, and everyone had a great (yet a bit weird) time.

· i'm not sure which is the better apple store sighting: 1) milla jovavich a couple of weeks ago with more than an armload of software. the only title i spied was the sims - who knew that ms. resident evil needs an escape from the daily grind that is her life? OR 2) kayne west yesterday with his signature solid gold jesus chain dangling from the neck. does he ever smile or does he just have a permanent scowl on his face? maybe it's a leftover from his car accident. anyway, he was with the requisite body guard and mini-entourage checking out laptops. they were debating about which was better - the "white one" or the "silver one." although there was a consensus that the "silver" was more powerful, the "white joint" was more off the hook looks wise (or something like that).

· Uma Thurman along with her 2 kids and some older blonde (nanny maybe?) at healthy pleasures on university place buying organic groceries. The kids were adorable, very blonde. Uma had her hair in pigtails and was wearing cropped white jeans and a pink top...that is one tall woman.

· Went into the new Barneys Co-op on bway and 75th which opened today and saw Halle Berry buying a leather jacket, cashmere sweater, and some other stuff. She is teeny tiny in person with a perfect body and beautiful skin. Damn her!

· I saw alt-rock goddess Patti Smith sitting on the front stoop of (what I'm guessing is) her house on MacDougal just south of Houston. Except for some gray hair, she looks more or less exactly as she did back in the pre-Detroit era.

· I was shopping at Saks Fifth Avenue when I saw Tallulah, Rumer, and Scout Willis shopping away on the Contemporary Level. Rumer, who looks exactly like Demi, was debating on buying 3 tanktops. Who would have thought that such millionaire offspring would be tallying up the cost of 3 tops only to decide that $91, was okay, and being even more elated when she realized all three were on sale. Meanwhile, Tallulah and Rumer, ran around the racks laughing and playing tag.

· Spotted Queer Eyer Carson Kressley on 9/22 in the Chelsea Barnes & Noble 3pm ... checking out books in the Interior Design section.

· At David Means' book party— Johnathan Franzen, Sigrid Nunez, Sarah Schulman, Dale Peck, Francine Prose. What do all these people have in common? Lots of magazine underlings and publicists.

· This Thursday morning at the new Jamba Juice on Fifth and 22nd, stood next to Ethan Hawke who looked very much awake for 8:30 a.m. He ordered a Strawberries Wild and was exceptionally charming and chatty with young lady behind the counter; I found it very endearing but she had no clue who he was. He had on an ugly, but not unexpected red button-down shirt made out of bandana material that he had tucked in to a pair of brown corduroy pants. Overall, he looked surprisingly neat and showered.

· You know, I've run into actual celebrities around town, and that's fun, but I get a bigger kick out of ones like this: "Amazing Race" 3rd place finishers Brandon and Nicole, walking on 26th Street toward 11th Avenue. I was behind the super-Christian duo for almost 3 blocks, and they never released their hand-holding deathgrip on each other; he's impossible to miss with that Christopher Atkins-looking mop of hair, and she's much cuter in person but WAY too short to be a model, as claimed on the show. I just kept picturing her sobbing breakdown on the ice bikes in the final episode.

· Saw Lili Taylor walking south on Hudson Street with a yoga mat in her bag. She looks prettier than she did in her Mystic Pizza days! Maybe it's the yoga, maybe it's the Botox...

· Saw Adam Duritz (of the Counting Crows) chatting it up with a young lady on a Fourth Street porch. I don't remember him looking this way at the last Crows concert I attended, but maybe it's been the downward spiral into The Land of Shrek Soundtracks and Vanessa Carlton Duets that's turned Mr. Jones into Mr. Big Boned.

· sitting outside on the patio reading a magazine in a yellow Tshirt and beige ballcap as I write this - oops the cap is now off - let your bony, stubbly head breathe free, sweet Moby! But please don't chintz out anymore on the bread that's served with the soup - it was pretty stale for how expensive the soup is ($6! Teany may be an LES joint but its prices are all uptown. I am lamenting the giant burrito at San Loco I could have had for the price). Now a pretty blonde is sitting with him. She looks like she can afford the soup.

· I know that no one cares anymore about The Apprentice, but I just had to report that I just spotted Stacy R. and Bradford eating lunch (I think from Pret a Manger) in that weird outdoor dining pavilion behind the Lehman Brothers building in midtown. Stacy was dressed expensively and unimaginatively in all black; Bradford was super-casual and (goes without saying) very shiny-headed. I would love to start some dating (or canoodling ) rumors a la Bill and Amy, but there was a distinct absence of any form of sexual tension between them. She also has way too much hair, which she was tossing around egregiously, flagrantly reminding Bradford of his own lack of it.

· 9/21, extremely hot Justin Theroux, looking...extremely hot. He was walking two large dogs across Washington Square North. Decked out in all black plus a hat and sunglasses, he was really working the whole incognito look.

· Saw Joe Queenan (I know, I know, an exceedingly modest celebrity-sighting, but I never see anyone I recognize) yesterday at the downtown Kitchenette having a quickish coffee and a scone with a guy with an English accent who at first I thought was an editor but then (through fitful eavesdropping) I think was a TV producer of some sort. I wouldn't have known it was Joe Queenan—he's an ordinary looking, somewhat pudgy, middle-aged guy—but I recognized his voice.

· I saw Tatum O'Neal talking loudly on her cell phone outside of the Mercer. Contrary to previous reports, I think she looked great. When you consider that she's over 40, has done a few stints in rehab, had a few kids, MacEnroe and Ryan O'Neal were the men in her life, etc., she looks phenomenal. She was taller than I thought in gorgeous purple heels and a long skirt. The only sad part was what she was yelling into her cell phone, "Yes, PLEASE go with me, otherwise I'm going alone."

· I walked out of my office yesterday and encountered super-homos Philip Bloch and J. Alexander conversing on the street. PB looked totally white trash with that nasty moustache and Michael Bolton hair, and J. seriously oozed gay out of his pores. I think I got a little gay just walking by them. [Ed: Yes, you definitely caught The Gay. Now come out of your closet.]

· Yesterday the 22nd, at 5:20pm at 67th and York, I saw scandal ridden soon to be ex-gov of NJ, Jim McGreevy. I walked past him, while intently staring, trying to put a name to his face. And he looked up and stared right back at me. He had that look on his face that he thought I was judging him or something. Not a lot of noticible security. I did notice one guy with those ear things a block behind him though, chatting casually on his cellular.

· Spied Tim Armstrong at Happy Ending the other night. He looked like he was made of wax, and wore some stupid hat/scarf combo. He sat in a corner with a few suicide girl-ish looking types until it started getting crowded and then he left with a scowl on his face.

· I was having a pie at Difara's last night with my friends and guess who strolled in? David Blaine, Rosario Dawson and that guy who started the clothing label Yellow Fever (I forget his name) [Ed: No effing clue]. Rosario was hot as ever in what appeared to be a boys x-small t-shirt. David was looking like he was training for another plastic box-capade, i.e. the guy was freaking HUGE, we're talking fat-uncle status. The Yellow Fever guy was occasionally filming the scene with his mini-dv and they chowed down on a pie and a couple of square slices. Blaine did not make the pizza levitate.

· Just encountered Neal McDonough (star of the new NBC show "Medical Investigation") enjoying a late breakfast at Cafe Orlin on St Marks. Does that show film location scenes in NYC? If so, what the hell is he doing loafing off at a Euro cafe? Don't those prime-time fuckers film 16 hours a day?

· Saw MTV news anchor John the Toup Norris scrambling around NYC s sanctuary for booze and boys last Saturday night, The Cock. He looked a little dazed wondering how he d gotten there and why the clientele wasn t boy bandish looking.

· 9/19: Saw Joel Grey at Hudson River Park pier around 2pm. Very friendly. We talked about the nice weather and he used the word harbinger.