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—We're going to be as restrained as possible here: Win a dream lunch date with Fabio!
—Enjoy this slideshow detailing Britney Spears' quick descent into utter tackiness. [via popdirt]
—Mike Seaver is a born again Christian and TV-sister Carol is getting slapped with felonies for drunk driving? You really never know with former child actors.
—Defamer mini-PSA: If "D. Schwimmer" appears on your caller ID and he's ever dated someone you know, let the voicemail pick up. Trust us. [second item]
—Cinemocracy reviews possible Cusack canoodler/First Daughter hopeful Alexandra Kerry's short film.
—You should've seen the original NYT Magazine cover featuring Wonkette, Anderson Cooper, Tim Russert, and fifteen pounds of carrot cake. Hott. But it's the Gray Lady, so they settled on something a little tamer. Still, you can't see her hands.