Hollywood PrivacyWatch Special Edition: Parker Posey's Not-So-Hot Yoga
Our readers are officially putting bikram-devotee celebrities on notice—if you bring your weak shit and high-priced yoga mats to Silver Lake, everyone's going to know about your snotty tissues and your bad outfits. Even if you were once the darling of the indie film world before that regrettable guest spot on Will & Grace, you'll never do the downward-facing dog on the Eastside again!
I live in a largely celebrity-free zone on the east side. Going to my favorite mellow yoga school and finding that I have to endure 90 sweaty minutes next to a naturally thin and highly flexible Parker Posey is not my idea of a good time.
Sure, she minded her own yoga business for the first 45 minutes, stretching herself into a tidy little pretzel in her faded rock t-shirt and mini-shorts. But when our laid-back instructor began to mock her own 'Free To Be You and Me/Our Bodies Ourselves' hand-stenciled outfit, suddenly a raspy, deep voice punctured the celebrity-free silence, croaking, "It's a unitard!" We know what it is, actor-girl. If I want to hear your interpretation I'll go watch you on DVD in your Dairy Queen outfit. And when you walk out of a hot room after class, close the door behind you, indie queen. I'm not saying doing yoga next to Parker Posey is as bad as having to stretch out with Kevin Costner or Julia Roberts but no actors is better than any on this side of town. The only consolation is that a white boy with a jewfro sidled up to her in the lobby after class to tell her about a great part in his next movie. "Oh, that's right," she said, without a hint of irony. "You went to film school."
And if you've convinced yourself this was an isolated, yoga-related incident, another reader offers this charming anecdote. Enjoy and immediately start checking eBay for your favorite indie actress's discarded Kleenex.
Saw Parker Posey in my Bikram yoga class in Silverlake last Tuesday. Flexible as anything, she was doing really well when halfway through she blew her nose, packed up and skipped out. Oh, okay, you're just done now? The instructor cracked that he was going to sell her snotty kleenex, which she left on the floor, on ebay.