[Ed: Oh, looky there, we can return to reading our gossip online. Ahem. Thank you.]
· Madonna is enrolling at Oxford for a literature degree, which she will pursue from the comfort of home. Will she be able to balance her Kabbalah texts with the traditional canon? The world waits in anticipation. [Sun UK]
· In news of extreme injustice, Insider host Pat O'Brien confesses he owns homes all over the fucking place. [Page Six]
· Reality TV spoiler? Donald Trump might be unfiring recent Apprentice cast-off, Stacie J. Her rep refuses to comment, and "no comment" always means "you're right!" [NYDN (3rd item)]
· Law & Order creator Dick Wolf celebrated his wife's birthday on Tuesday by serving her divorce papers. How sweet! [Page Six]