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With all of the attention that Britney Spears' announcement that she's going to write on her website attracted, you'd think someone just found a video with twelve hours of Spears fucking punctuated by a diatribe on the merits of slavery. [Ed.note—That's so unfair. This is the Letter of Truth! ] Nevertheless, we feel compelled to ask: "Is it up yet?" Because we've spent the last 24 hours trying to raise the $24.95 membership fee, and after a very uncomfortable night bent over on the passenger seat of a certain A-list actor's H2, we're almost halfway to our goal! Should the letter get posted before the second phase of our "Pledge Drive For the Truth" (where the action in the Hummer might result in a permanent limp) is completed, feel free to forward on the Truth to us. We promise we'll reallocate our Truth fund to therapy, or least a mid-priced cane.

Oh yeah, did we mention that we're certain that Spears is actually going through with the "real wedding" on Oct. 16th in Santa Barbara? Maybe that's what she's going to write about, and invite all of her dues-paying fans to the ceremony.