The Projectionist: Jeffrey Katzenberg's Enthusiastic Body Art
We sincerely hope that you like CGI sharks, otherwise you may find this a good weekend to catch up on lawn maintenance or finally getting started on that extramarital affair.
1. Shark Tale — $47 million
Diminutive DreamWorks Animation head Jeffrey Katzenberg is so certain that he's got a hit on his hands that he's had his body completely covered in cartoony goldfish tattoos...well, not completely. He's left one very special part a fallow canvas until the premiere of Shrek 3.
2. Ladder 49 — $18 million
Are we supposed to buy John Travolta as a firefighter? We imagine it would be pretty hard to save children from a burning building while having to stop and dislodge one's bloated head after it gets jammed in every doorway. And we're fairly certain that Scientologists think fires are just another way that the psychiatry cabal controls the populace.
3. The Forgotten — $13 million
Sony's going to have to redo all of those commercials boasting that The Forgotten was the #1 movie.
Maybe they can alter their ads to crow that they have "The Number One Movie In America Where Julianne Moore Thinks She's Losing Her Shit"?
4. Sky Captain and the World of Tomorrrow — $5 million
Our abusive relationship with Sky Captain drags into a third week. We'll guess $5 million and wake up Monday morning to discover that it grossed $15,000 and maxed out our credit cards at a strip club while we slept.
5. Resident Evil: Apocalypse — $4 million
This time, we absolutely refuse to bet against the zombies. We should also mention that we've completely given up on humanity for making this film a relative hit.